Family Tea

Family… “can’t live with them, can’t live without them”, right? I would be inclined to believe this as family is very important to me. It’s easy to take them for granted, especially in my case, because I work with some of my family every day. However, I’m beyond grateful. I can’t fathom not having family to talk to, hang out with, or even cry with in times of need. I’m extremely blessed to be very close to my immediate family. Sure, we’ve had our challenging times, but who hasn’t? The hard times have made us stronger and appreciate the good times that much more.

Nobody is perfect and family is no exception. It’s funny now as I’ve reached adulthood, I can see my older family members as people just like me… they’ve had their drama and demons just like the rest of us. When I was younger, I looked at them as superheroes almost. They could do no wrong… if they said it, it was true. Now I realize they are just trying to make it through life just like me.

So, what do you do when there’s family drama? I think it’s dealt with on the case by case basis. You have a family member that’s messy? Don’t give them anything to make a mess of. That family member that always has an attitude, be joyful around them and don’t let their attitude change who you are. That family member who can’t hold water??? Don’t tell them your business. In my opinion, by no means do you disown or stop communicating with a family member. You see them for who they are and march on. There are people who would love to have the family foolery you have going on because it means that they have a family!

My family has been there with me through thick and thin. With all that I have going on right now, not one of them has put pressure on me to do what they think is best. While I wish they didn’t know as much as they do, they still have shown me support with fighting for my marriage. Of course, they are fiercely protective of me and my children, but understand how important my family is to me. They have expressed their disappointment in my husband’s bad decisions but have stated they know he’s not a bad person and love him. That kind of support has been amazing to have, however, going through something so personal with family has been challenging. When things get better in my marriage (Yes, I’m claiming it) and we’ve moved on from this valley, it may be harder for family to move on. That’s something that I’m already praying for. While I know things won’t be all peaches and cream, I’m believing that God will soften the hearts of those who may as quick to forgive and look toward the future. A marriage should be between the two people who took those vows. While I believe it’s ok to get advice about things, no one should know everything about your marriage, family or not.

I don’t know where I’d be without my family. This goes for my in-laws as well! They have allowed me space through this ordeal, but when I’ve called, they’ve been there. I’ve understood that this is hard for them too, as my husband is their blood. But to know that they still accept and love me is very important to me. I’ve been a part of this family for over 15 years, naturally there was that fear of losing them in a divorce. I mean I literally mourned the possibility of losing them, y’all. What I now know is that family will always be family, blood relation or not. I am so blessed to know no matter what happens in this situation, that my in-laws will always be a part of my family.

Families can be made up of people who we share blood with or friends who become family. Be grateful for you family, no matter how it looks or how big or little it is. There are so many people who don’t have a family. Understand the blessing having a family is. Life is too short to hold grudges, disown, or whatever other foolishness people are doing these days. Either way as the saying goes… you can’t live with them and you most certainly shouldn’t live without them!