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Friends… how many of us have them? Day ones, ride or dies, through thick and thin friends. We may not talk every day, every week, or even every month, but when we do it’s like time has never passed. I have a few of those in my life. Life happens and with family and career, we don’t have time to hangout or speak like we used to when we didn’t have to "adult" so much. We don’t allow time, location, or space to change our friendships though.
I’ve been very cautious as to who I let in my “inner circle.” See for me, I don’t do drama. I can’t stand the bickering, the lying, backstabbing, etc. that may come with friendships. In my opinion, these things don’t constitute a friendship at all. I’m sure we’ve all experienced this to a certain degree, but I’ve made a conscience decision not to allow those type of “friendships” into my life. I have enough going on and truth be told I don’t have time for unnecessary foolishness.
I do feel like human connection is extremely important in life. You should have people who you can communicate with during times of joy and sorrow. It’s great to have people you can just grab food or drinks with or maybe just to go grocery shopping with. I must admit that I miss those types of interactions. I’ve said to myself so many times since becoming a wife and mother that I’m going to do better with hanging out. But then I realized that I’ve become so consumed with adulting, that I don’t have many options. Not that I’ve purposely cut off people for any reason in particular, but life has gotten in the way. I have no idea how many times I’ve said, I’m going to do better with answering phone calls or responding to text. I know I have to do better, it’s truly a situation of me making the time to sustain those connections.
What happens when you are betrayed, your secrets are told, or your friend isn’t the person who you thought they were? We’ve all heard that phrase, forgive and forget, right? Well I say forgive, but don’t forget. Now, I’m not saying treat them bad or like they aren’t entitled to make mistakes, but what I am saying is that you have to understand that they are human. Mistakes and mishaps are going to happen. You have to make a decision as to how you’re going to handle that person. Sometimes it just requires an adjustment of thinking on your part. If you know they tell you everyone else’s business, what makes you think they won’t tell yours? If you know they get an attitude or lie about the smallest of things, what makes you think they won’t get an attitude or lie to you? Accept people for who they are and move accordingly.
Like I’ve mentioned in previous posts, you have to be willing to see people as imperfect beings. You’re going to make your share of mistakes, you’re going tell a secret or two, catch an attitude from time to time, or maybe even... dare I say it... lie! Would you want a true friendship to end over a mistake? I would think not! You would apologize for the mistake and understand that it may take time for trust to be restored, right? Then you should do the same to keep friendships that are important to you.
I’ve been in situations where my secrets were told and where I’ve been outright lied to. There are times where I’ve called the person out on it and they’ve been other times where I just let it go. There have been times when I’ve been the one who made the mistake… not one of us is perfect. I’ve learned to accept people for who they are and not allow it to change who I am. Learning to rise above and still be there for others no matter what they’ve done to you makes you a much stronger person.
I have decided to be a friend point…blank…period! If I’m needed, I’m there no matter what (if they can get me to answer my phone, lol). I’ve decided to be the friend that I want and at times so desperately need. Things won’t always be great, but it’s assuring to know that I have friends in my corner when I need them and that I can be a friend when I’m called upon.
What do friendships mean to you, sis? What's your friendship tea?
This was a good amazing tea about friendships. To me being a friend means support, accountability, compassion, and understanding. It also means to pour love on each other, pray for each other, and give 100 percent to each other. It means having difficult conversations, to checking 💜 on each other. Keep up the good work.
Friend or Foe?? Hmmm..... I have a lot of friends who just so happen to be "blood or family". My circle of friends outside of family is very very small (probably less than 4 people). I consider you to be my friend if I can trust you with caring and supporting for my family as you would your family if i was to die today. Especially my kids. Period and without hesitation. Everybody else are acquaintances, connections, and contacts. I love them too, but from afar.
That was some good Tea!
This may be a rudimentary response,but to me friendship means loyalty, no judgement, and understanding. Being happy for the other’s successes. A true friend is not only honest about themselves, but they are also honest about you. They are able to have difficult conversations in telling you things that sometimes you may not be eager to hear. It is 100% accurate that you have to be selective about who you keep in your circle. Everyone may not have your best interest at heart.
I use to think that friendship was this amazing version of babysitters club and that the more you had the better off you were. You see when you tie your worth to other people, whether its friendship, relationships etc., this can easily be your life. The more "friends" I had the better person I thought that I was. BIG mistake! The smaller my circle has become, the stronger it has become and I couldnt be more grateful! Friendship can be hard.... I have learned that it's not always equally reciprocated and that you may not always get the same support you give. BUT it is always worth it....and if it's not then it's not friendship!