Obedience Tea

What does it mean to be obedient? It’s just a fancy word for doing what you’re told. Being a mother, I don’t use obedient that often. Even though I don’t use the word, my children know what it means and understand they are expected to obey my rules, the law, rules in school, etc. There are just some things we must obey, whether we like it or not, right?

So, what about obeying God? It’s so easy to do what we want to do in our lives, but do we obey God’s commandments or obey what he’s telling us to do? Are we obedient? I’ve listened to a devotional this morning, and the speaker said something so profound to me, “partial obedience is disobedience”, 🤯 mind blown!! I don’t know why because it makes perfect sense. When we ask our children, or employees, or spouse, etc. to do something, we expect it to be done all the way through and correctly. We don’t want anything half done, right? Well, that’s the same thing God expects of us.

During my depression, prayer and journaling got me through. I remember one night; I was in my room pacing the floor and praying out loud. I was thanking God for His goodness and mercy despite of my shortcomings, praising Him for just being God, asking him for guidance and continued strength. I remember this night so vividly because it was the first time, I prayed for the mother my now ex-husbands children. Talk about strength, to pray for the person who helped destroy my family, yep, I did that! I called her name and asked God to bless her, to heal her, to be what she needs in her life. After I literally prayed and cried and cried and prayed, I sat quietly. Y’all, just as sure as I’m typing this blog entry, I heard God say, “Let Go”. I was number one in absolute awe and humbled that I heard God speak to me. Number two I was devastated because was God really telling me to end my marriage. I called my mom and best friend to tell them because I was excited that I heard His voice, but I was also very scared and upset. Why is God telling me to let go of something that I’ve fought so hard to keep?

I wasn’t obedient initially. I continued to do what I wanted, which was to fight for my marriage in the way I thought I should. I rationalized that maybe He meant to let go and let Him handle it, which could very well be the case. But maybe He’s handling it in a way in which we needed to be divorced. Maybe the end of our marriage is the beginning of a beautiful relationship, one that we’ve never experienced with one another. While that doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation, we are in a place that I can honestly say we've never been before. We've come a very long way yall!

I am learning to let go and let God more and more every day. I am learning to let Him fight my battles. Why should I stress myself out when He’s got me? He continues to prove himself to me every day. Every day that I’m not depressed, every day that I’m able to have a good conversation with my ex-husband. Every day that I’m able to enjoy my children and function like a normal person is a blessing. It’s something that a lot of people can’t say.

Creating this blog took obedience. I am not one to tell my business, most certainly not to total strangers. But I know that my story is bigger than me. I must do what I can to help others. If that means I must “spill my tea”, so be it! It’s the sacrifice I’ll make to be obedient. Be obedient! Do what God has placed on your heart to do! He won’t you to a place where He won’t already be there waiting for you!