One Year in T's "Tea"

Wow!!! It’s been a whole year since my first blog post. I have been humbled and changed by this sharing experience. When I started T’s Truth last year, I had no idea what was going to come from it. I literally just wanted to tell my story and help those who were struggling in the same areas that I was. When I was in the thick of my “wilderness” blogging was therapeutic. Writing down my feelings helped me face and stand in my truth.

If you’ve been with me from the beginning, you know that things didn’t go the way I’d prayed they would, but they turned out just the way God intended. My marriage ended in divorce mere weeks before what would’ve been our 13th wedding anniversary. Even in that, I can honestly say that the relationship my ex-husband and I have now is in a much better place. We have better communication and are focused on being the best parents we know how to be for our children. We’ve had honest and open dialogue about where we went wrong and how to fix our issues. I have come to the realization that no matter how much I wanted this man to choose me, I had to be strong enough to choose myself. I know my worth and what I deserve in a relationship. I will always love him and cherish the memories during our time together, but I understand that I have to let it go, and I’m learning to be ok with that.

I am actively discovering who T is. I am learning to enjoy spending time with myself. I’m creating healthy boundaries and being open and honest with myself. I almost feel like Shonda Rimes in her book “The Year of Yes”. I’m doing my best to say yes to every new experience, especially to the things that the old T would’ve said no to! Y’all, I’ve gotten 4 tattoos in the last 2 months! I’m living my life on my own terms and not for another human being.

At one point I felt like I’d lost so much. Now I think in order for me to gain and go where God needs me to be I had to lose. I had to be knocked down a few notches, I had to be broken. I remember talking to God, asking him to pick someone else to teach these lessons to. I felt like He was picking on me. At this point I’m like “Lord, teach me all you need to teach me, but just don’t leave me hurt”; “I can’t take anymore hurt.” But at the end of the day, it sometimes takes the hurt and brokenness and betrayal and loneliness to get to the gold, to get to the place where we learn to depend solely on God and His will for our lives. I know that God wants the best for me. I know that He wants me to be happy. Once I let go of what I want and what I thought my life was “supposed” to look like and let Him lead me… I know that one day all of this will make sense. I now understand that He had to break me to bring me to Him, to the place where He wants me to be. That alone gets me excited for my future and let me tell you, it’s bright yall! This was but a bump in my road to the biggest victory I’ve seen yet.

A huge thank you to all who’ve supported me whether it be through phone calls, text, or just reading my blog post and listening to the podcast. Being this brutely honest about something do deeply personal hasn’t been easy. I’m not looking to have a huge following or anything of the sort, I’m just being obedient to what I feel God has placed in me to do during this season of my life. If I’ve helped just one person, my job is done. I’m looking forward to branching out to Tik Tok and YouTube in the near future as I continue to spill my tea and tell my truths. My life has changed and I’m taking you all along for the ride as I rediscover myself in this world! Y’all ready? Cause I am!!