"Why Tea"

Why did this happen to me? What did I do to deserve this? Why am I the only one who seems to be struggling through this situation? These are all questions that I've asked God. I'm sure you've found yourself asking these same questions during certain situations in your life. I think it's normal to and healthy, but the tricky part is that we may not get an answer, or it may not be the answer you want!

I have found myself questioning God a lot lately. My divorce is final and oddly enough I feel more confused now than ever. Did I make the right decision? Am I ever gonna be happy again? Maybe I should've fought harder, etc. All of these things have been bombarding my mind for the past month or so. I've asked God so many times to reveal his plan to me for my life, and I guess He's tired of me, because He hasn't shared yet! LOL. Maybe He feels as if its none of my business, and that's fine because I know he'll work things out for my good, but I still wonder WHY ME LORD?

I think it's healthy to ask why! I remember as a child I wish I would've asked my mom why! She would've given me an ear full... "Don't ask me why!" or " Don't question an adult" or what I use on my kids, "Don't ask me any questions, just do what I say! Now that she's a grandmother and has been in education for a while, apparently, it's "healthy" for children to ask why and to be given an answer. Where was this logic when i was a child? Anyway, so just as it's healthy and ok for our children to ask why, we have to know it's ok to ask God why. We have to know and understand that He wants us to have that type of relationship with Him. Now just because we ask, doesn't mean that He's going to answer when you'll want Him, but as the song says, "He'll be there right on time"!

I understand that God doesn't have to answer me right now. But I also know that He won't leave me hanging. In the meantime, in between time, I will continue to pray for myself, my family, and my situation. I will also remain grateful and thankful that my situation isn't worse. I've become good at humbling myself when I watch the news or hear someone else's story of struggle, loss, and pain. Sometimes I'm honestly embarrassed that I'm still struggling with my situation. I haven't lost anyone to death, I haven't had to fight through health issues, I wasn't in an abusive relationship, so I should count my blessings in that respect. At the same time though, I can't and won't discount the struggles I've faced.

I say all this to say keep the faith, keep pushing, keep praying, keep journaling, keep your focus on your path in life. Ask God those hard questions and be prepared for His answer. It may not be what you want to hear, but I promise it'll be what God has for only you!